i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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