If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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