i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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