k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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