My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
