I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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