It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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