Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
