She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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