Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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