is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
