I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
