I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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