is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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