So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i dont even know how to be here
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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