I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
