We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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