I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
