By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
