Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I've blown a few things in my day
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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