His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i believe in u and ur pee
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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