why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
