wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
