Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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