you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
