i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I understand Curling. That high.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
