I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
