Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
