Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
