Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my shit smells like andre
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
