just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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