This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
