whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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