wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
