You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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