did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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