hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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