Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
