i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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