what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
