theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
