Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
