I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We had sex on a dog bed..
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
