It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
why is half of my head shaved?
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