you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
