She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
