Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
