I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
