i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
