just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
