Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
