just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
