What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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