I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
