Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I love you. Go after that dick
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
