I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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